- Some say shyness is biological or you are predisposed to it as you are born but that shouldn't deter you from trying to overcome it. Shyness is not a bad trait that you have to defeat. However, outgoing people who are not shy enjoy dating more than their shy counterparts. There are ways you can overcome your shyness it may take a while, and you need to do some cognitive changes, but it is doable. Here are some techniques to help you practice un-shying yourself.
1. Ask your self "why" - Find the reasons that are making you feel shy or taking your confidence away from you. Make a list of all your shy behaviors to get a better insight into your reasons why and when you start being shy. Once you prepare your list, look what these situations have in common.
2. Body Language- Your body language talks tons about your personality and what you are thinking. Your body language can even affect your behavior as well. If you cross your arms when you are on a date, your date may think you are not interested. Make conscious decisions about your body language. If right before you are about to cross your arms, you can decide not to and send a signal to your brain that you will show confidence. You can Google what body languages mean, and which ones show confidence and outgoingness. You can display those body languages cognitively to overcome your shyness. For example, do not cover your face in any way, cross your body or make your self-small. These show you are not comfortable and shy.
3. Practice, practice, practice- Practice makes perfect, so next time you are out on a date, practice displaying confidence and outgoingness. You may feel uncomfortable, but that is the only way you will overcome your shyness. To achieve any difference, you need to leave your comfort zone.
4. Stop thinking you are being judged- Think that others are judging you will make you feel self-conscious. That can cause you to lose your confidence. Once you become too self-aware, you may become uncomfortable, and won't even know what to do with your hands. Just forget about everything and everyone. Don't compare yourself to anyone, everyone is unique in their own way.
5. Fake it till you make it- When someone asks if you are shy, you shouldn't identify yourself as shy if you are actively trying to change it. If you call yourself shy and identify that way, it will be that much harder to change it. Say you used to be shy, your mind mirrors your words. Force yourself to leave your comfort zone and act more outgoing. So actively try to think differently and fake it till you make it. If you say you used to be shy then when you are around that person, you will try to show that you are not shy anymore.
6. Socialize with friends- Socialize with active and outgoing friends, and don't go back to your shy ways. Hanging out with them will force you to leave your comfort zone and act more outgoing.
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