If we are talking about relationships, it is quite normal for you to have different opinions and aspects from your partner's. It is also quite normal for you to be scared of fighting until you get into your first fight over these different opinions. Since it is your first fight, it can be overwhelming for you to deal with. Especially, if you do not know what to say or what to do after your fight, then things can get a little rough between you. In most of the relationships miscommunication triggers the fights so if you do not know how to communicate effectively with your partner and how to deal with your first fight, here are some tips that you will definitely need.
1.Listen Listening is the key to a relationship, to any kind of relationship. Listening will make you see things from a different perspective, which is rather important for two people to relate to each other's feelings. Listening is one of the best ways of knowing someone so try to really know your partner, her characteristics, her needs, and expectations. Do not do it because you have just fought, do it just to know her/him. You should not only listen to your partner's needs and expectations but also you should try to meet them as much as you can so that she can see how much you love her and care about her. Do not interrupt your partner while she is explaining her point of view. It can make things worse.
2.Talk After the fight, you might not want to talk about it but talking calms you down more than just thinking about it silently. You have to talk openly to solve your problems and tell your expectations. As listening broadens your perspective, talking does the same for your partner. Both talking and listening are the necessary elements of communication that you cannot skip after a fight. By doing so, you can see the problem from both sides. It should be clear that this is not about deciding who is right or who is wrong about the fight, this is about finding a way to work it out for both of you. And never insist on your perspective, try to understand her/him. If you do not want to end your relationship after the fight, state that you want to keep her/him.
3.Show your emotions While talking, try to talk about your feelings. It is important to make your partner feel your love and affection for her. Some people are too shy to show their emotions but it is the only way to determine the future of your relationship so you should at least try. Moreover, telling your partner everything inside your head can make you both get more comfortable with each other and make your relationship even better. Being honest about your emotions makes you happier and more honest. It should not be a task after a fight, you should do it all the time. Try it sometime and see how great it feels.
4.Be respectful Next rule is keeping it classy. There is no need to say both of you have to be respectful to each other throughout your relationship no matter what. Showing your emotions does not necessarily mean that you can be rude to her/him or say whatever your anger makes you say. Sometimes, it is hard to keep calm but you have to. Try to remember that she/he is the one you love and you are hurting her/him out of temper. Also, showing your partner that you can hurt them very easily will probably threaten the future of your relationship. Try not to use an accusing tone while talking because it can make your partner angry as well and we do not need any more anger, do we? Just do not say anything you will regret.
5.Give some time Give your partner some time and take some for yourself. For example, you can take a walk or go to a place where you can relax. Taking some time away from your problem will make you think more clearly and calmly. It helps you realize things that you did not before. After you both calm down, you will be communicating much more effectively. It is also a good way to see how you feel about your partner since you are emotionally alone, you can speak your mind without being distracted by your emotions.
6.Apologize Even if you think you are right about the fight, you should apologize to your partner or at least say you are sorry for all the things you put her/him through. No matter who starts the fight, both parties will be sorry at the end. Especially, if you hurt your partner or say something disrespectful, you have to apologize no matter what. You both should be nice to each other.
7.Forgive and forget Forgiveness is a great virtue of humanity that leads people to happiness so be forgiving. Forgive your partner if she/he apologizes because it shows that she/he really cares about you and wants to express her/his feelings. Everything can be the same again so why not do it? Now that forgetting is the only way to go on, forget it and go on. If you cannot forget it, try not to remember it.
8.Do not bring the argument again After the storms calm down no matter how angry you are, the worst thing you can possibly do is bringing the argument again. It will take you back to fight, and by considering the first fight I can say that this would be no better than the first one. Since both of you would be emotionally hurt and psychologically exhausted, a second fight would have a risk of separation. If you love your partner and do not want a break-up, all you have to do is forgetting everything except that you truly love her/him.
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